You Can Meme Like This. Or You Can Meme Like That.
$10 From WTBC Records. Not Available Digitally! Limited Quantities On Physical Media Items! Act Fast!
There is so much in this world this is constantly vying for our attention. New TV shows. Social Media. That person in the street yelling about the Venusians who are about to invade our planet. And let’s not forget that string of local pets and animals that all want you to rescue some kid who is stuck in a rusting tractor out in Old Man Thornton’s corn field. Are you really the only one home at this hour of the day? Isn’t there a volunteer fireman nearby, somewhere?
With all of that going on, sometimes you just want to get away from it all. Maybe, for example, you want to disappear with that book of Nancy comics that you enjoy so much, and sit in a graveyard for while to read it, without the prying eyes of your neighbors trying to figure our which of the two of you prints their own money. But even in the most remote graveyards, with the world sufficiently blotted out by the sounds of nature, it would be wonderful if someone made the perfect soundtrack that you could listen to. Not too loud, of course. But just loud enough to really make the cops wonder what you’re up to.
Now, of course, there are many albums that would be perfect for this kind of listening experience, and Columbia House now has a section for this genre in their 12-CDs-For-A-Penny club this year. But, while it might not be a new, or even unique, idea to make an album meant for just such listening condition, Mini-Mutations might as well throw their hat into the ring, with their newest musical offering on CD, and not available in other formats! (Yet!)
“Reading Nancy Comics & Listening To Irv Teibel” is the CD you need To Guide You On The Best Possible Path During Your Journey Into the 21st Century.
While some albums offer only one use in your daily life, this collection of live performances and unique-to-this-disc recordings will actually serve many functions for you, and is the perfect multi-tool for these troubled times. The circular nature of the disc allows for replacement in any circumstance where a coaster, frisbee or improvised wheel is needed. In conjunction with the cover, it can also act as a windshield scraper, or as a visor in particularly sunny conditions. There are ample blank white spaces on the cover and interior, which enables you to use those surfaces for taking quick notes if you write very, very small. Fortunately, the cover is recyclable, too.
The entertainment within, however, can be used in a multitude of ways, too. Either as a guided meditation, or turn by turn instructions for that trip to visit your relatives, this disc can fulfill the essential functions of any listened audio that you might find you need to hear out in the built world. Weather it is the audio descriptions of the art at a local museum, the commentary track by a director that you know and love, or even as a new soundtrack to accompany a viewing of The Wizard of Oz, you will find that our new album can meet almost any need that you might have in this modern, bustling world.
Certainly, we also recommend that you consume the media in a traditional manner at some point, too, but when it comes to the value proposition of this material item, it is important to note that we have designed it with flexibility in mind, even if the disc itself is not actually so.
Critics Might, Someday, Consider Raving About Some Project Tangental To This One, So You Get In On The Ground Floor, While You Still Can.
Your average album might come with some digital files that are easily lost or misplaced in the flotsam and jetsam that is the average computer interface. And, knowing you, you have a very particular way you like your meta-data to be encoded, anyway. This is why this album is not available digitally, to prevent this kind of problem. When you rip this disc in the comfort of your own home, you will know that we had nothing to do with the way you choose to misplace your files afterwards. And that’s a promise you can count on!
Instead of those hopelessly old-fashioned files, as if you are an .mp3 hoarder from the late 20th century, your purchase includes the following 21st Century items that you can keep as long as you remember that they are important in this fast-paced world of one century later:
YOUR PURCHASE INCLUDES:
An audio Compact Disc, which contains the audio of the brand new album by Mini-Mutations, for you to play at your neighbors when they are fighting or making love!
One New Composition, Unique To This Disc, Never Before Heard by Mortal Humans! Plus four live performances, not available to enjoy elsewhere anymore! This music is not for download. To get it, you need to own this disc!
One Black And White Cover, containing images and information that DIRECTLY RELATE to the audio on the disc!*
An information card that you can fill out, so you can join Professor Schwartzwelder’s “Mini-Mutations Civil Disobedience 101” Club!
One piece of Mutated Money, which is not legal or valid tender in the United States, but apes some of the elements thereof, including unique serial numbers so I can track your international movements at airport checkpoints!
Each album is numbered, and was Inspected by #34, the most trustworthy inspector that money can buy, ensuring the the product you have just purchased is of the highest possible quality, when it comes to experimental music from Salem, Oregon.
* We actually coordinated those elements together, in some fashion, if you can believe it.
Supplies Are Limited! Offer Void In Wisconsin & South Carolina!
On average, Mini-Mutations puts out no less than 12 releases a year, which makes the first one of 2021 to be an absolutely essential part of any respectable person’s record collection, if they like being respectable, that is. So why not avoid the rush after everyone has read about this on vice.com, and order your copy of this album today, before the sands of time disappear like the days of our lives…