I just don’t think this Sports subculture is really going to catch on with the mainstream. I just don’t see America wanting to celebrate extremely homoerotic athletic behavior in ways that flaunt dexterous, physical capability, a spectacle rendered even more incredible as seen through chemical enhancement. To suggest Americans would want to consume such media can only be described as Science Fiction by the qualities that set standards in my place and time!

Paco Jones was also shooting video the other day, when I was privileged enough to have been his engineer that day. While the angle I shot shows the entire performance from head on, this shot shows a much more contemplative Paco, and makes for incredible viewing. Enjoy!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, snap. Gaytheist’s video for “Stomach Pains” might be one of the coolest things I’ve seen in quite some time. But don’t take my word for it. The link below will prove my point.

Jonathon Boober – longtime collaborator of many things Blasphuphmus Radio – has agreed to join our Street Team for St Johns Nofest! We’ll be both slinging cameras & audio recorders to get some great segments for the show. If you want to join the street team, contact me, and we’ll get you set up for the epic event. August 10th!

Black Flag were decreed the Seargent At Arms, and the Court Jester was Austin Rich, who constantly pointed to all the heads of state, exclaiming they were all completely nude.

The Buzzcocks were The Ministers of State, and The Smiths were nominated the Dean of Romance.

The Dead Kennedys were elected The Heads of State, and Crass became international diplomats.

It was a slow, gradual progression, and then, with little fanfare, The Misfits became oldies music, and The Ramones spoke only truth and platitudes that reflect everyday realities.

Hooray! The line-up is announced! We’re on at 5 PM, at St. Johns Booksellers! We’re also performing with The Dead Air Fresheners at 12 Noon on the main stage! Blasphuphmus Radio will also be on the scene, with audio and video being recorded all over NoFest! It should be a lot of fun, so don’t miss it! (Also, the rest of the line-up is amazing!)
http://experimentalportland.com/2013/07/29/news-st-johns-no-fest-announces-lineup/

I just picked up six of these plants from a local nursery. Any tips on keeping this plant growing nice and healthy?

Should this concern me?

Rikki Pants & I were on hand to record La Fin Absolute du Monde and Estocar Indie Music at East End for an upcoming episode of Closet Radio. Here are some photos I shot at the show. Enjoy!

The visual record of our Slims adventure last night.

Marry Han By Layered Wan. Care For Beets Four Everyone. Bay Lair Bleary Meds Do Best. Bone To Fly Oh Yore.

Anyone know where I could score some Velocity 9?

I love living in St. John’s.

Your Saturday plans just got confirmed, as tomorrow is our Experimental Podcast Party at Slims with Ryan A Ray & The Accumulation, Admiran, Ricardo Wang, Four Dimensional Nightmare & The Black Noise Orchestra! We’ll be providing hours of entertainment, and you can be a part of the show! Starts at 9 PM, so show up early and stay late! If you like fun, then this is the show for you!

I know it’s cliché to say this, but even as a kid I could never decide which moon I liked more. And I don’t think that makes me “boring” or “milquetoast” to say it, either.

“What’s on my mind?” These new neural implants, for one.

Help! I’m stuck on Salty Smack level 223. Advice?

Also: any tips as to why the left side of my body is non-responsive?

Tables that were mechanized to walk around a bring food to the patrons were referred to as “Waiting Tables,” until the tables refused to work, and instead just stood in the corners, at which point the name was no longer considered “funny.”

This just in! I’ll be performing with The Dead Air Fresheners at St Johns Nofest! This show is getting great, and this is a call to artists who want to be on the podcast, contact me! blasphuphmus@gmail.com. BE A PART OF THE SHOW!
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/07/22/nofest-2013/

Here’s the audio promo for our show this weekend, for stream or download. July 27th at Slim’s! This show is gonna rock your socks into not sliding down into your shoe. Promise.
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/07/22/experimental-podcast-party/

The Early Bird Special keeps moving back slowly over time, as businesses try to stay competitive. The clock has been rolled back so far that Early now means “three weeks ago at 2 AM.”

Start your Monday off right with a little gospel from The Newt Estimate: The Dead Air Fresheners w/ Austin Rich, performing live at Habesha Lounge on 13 April 2013! This video was edited and created by Ryan A Ray, using two cameras and a lot of patience. I really feel like he captured the performance well, and I think this is a good introduction to what we do together. Enjoy!

I planted a handful of Camaros in the early spring, thinking only a couple might fruit, but now my yard looks like some kind of ridiculous Muscle Car show, and a couple are still growing. No reasonable offer will be refused! Drive a new one home today!

I’m surprised Beta Arland III even allowed me back after the Fear & Loathing crap I pulled last time I visited. Here’s a good beach shot before the Wheelers showed up.

I just teleported in from the Horsehead Nebula, and boy is my atomic structure tired.

When a problem comes along, you must solve it.
When the x is still unknown, you must solve it.
When the equation is too long, you must solve it.

On this date in ancient history, the first house was built. And, shortly thereafter, the first tenants invented Staying Home Instead Of Going Out, later immortalized by The Riverdales.

New additions to the line-up: Ryan A Ray & The Accumulation is confirmed as our opening act, and Ricardo Wang of KPSU.org’s “What’s This Called?” will be performing a half-time DJ set. This show is getting better and better, and I really want you guys show up. It’ll be a lot of fun, I promise!

The Farrelly Brothers remake of “Robin Hood: Men In Tights” took away all of the pathos a drama and turned it into a raunchy, “wacky” comedy. Have they no shame?

I’m really sick of all the blipverts that keep popping up in my dreams. Didn’t we start paying for these neural implants so we could avoid seeing ads?

I was under the impression that the Okarians and the Orovars had more or less resolved their ancient differences, but clearly the Martian Council’s recent decision proves that race is still an issue on the planet of Mars. Heavy Sigh.

The Coffee Wars of the ’90’s may have resulted in the cheap and prolific spreading of the substance to all corners of the world, but let’s not forget the millions who lost their lives fighting on The Tea Front.

This term I’ve been assigned to read the great re-pins of the last year. Some of these folks could really click that button in a way few clickers of the Social Media age were ever able to.

Who’s gonna win, “Best Vine,” for 2020? Is anyone taking bets for this yet?

We’re bringing the fun to Slim’s Pdx on July 27th with a bunch of musical experimentation with four incredible artists. We’ll be podcasting the entire show that night for a discerning crowd who will be IN THE SHOW! Join us for something we promise will be loads of fun. See you there!

Parliament recently can to an agreement: baby owl’s (also known as funk-lings) are also covered under, “One Nation Under A Groove.”

Apparently, black is actually still the same old black.

The floor here is really weird.

I just inherited from an obscure aunt over 16 square miles of a plastic material with this pattern on it. It’s currently on a small plateau in Wyoming. I’m wondering what I should do with it. Suggestions?

I guest starred on Closet Radio last week with Rikki Pants & Tunacan Jones. We play music, talk about music, and everything in-between. For stream or download.
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/07/06/closet-radio-episode-88-inre-of-running-revelries/

For your enjoyment: Paco Jones, Live on What’s This Called? w/ Ricardo Wang! The complete performance from the 6 July 2013 show last week. See what all the hubbub is about, bub.

Free To A Good Home: Lithium / Water powered engine extracted from a damaged Time Machine. Runs, but needs a tune-up. As-is, velociraptor tears and phaser blasts included. Hit me up!

Tobacco suppositories? Long term usage results in suffering from a daily morning fart.

I would like to thank the person who invented reversible fir trees. Your work is greatly appreciated.

This mirror is creeping me out.

Mummies: Wrapped in bandages.

Daddies: Wrapped in leather.

Laura Palmer: Wrapped in plastic.

Do we really need another Aqua Teen Hunger Force reboot? The last one written by Charlie Kaufman seemed like the definitive version to me.

“Survival Mode,” “Black Op Master,” “Into The Borderlands,” “Occupy Columbia,” and “Desmond Miles Smiles,” are just a few of the tracks off the new Buckner and Garcia LP. It’s pretty great!

Should I be worried that the skin on my entire body now looks like this?

It is said that if a moth crosses your path, your mother will be calling you before the day is through.

In the mid 1970’s, the La Leche League began recommending that parents give their children LSD. The literature stated that it counteracted the ‘drug-like’ behavior children exhibited naturally. As it turned out, there was a printing press mix-up with official La Leche League documents and a left-wing publication running a story about project MK ULTRA. To this day people re-post copies of the misprinted pamphlets on Reddit and 4Chan, though they have been clearly documented as mistakes on sites like Snopes & The Smoking Gun.

The only film Nixon appeared in as an actor was The Day The Clown Cried. Completely uncredited, insult was added to injury when the film went unreleased. Jerry Lewis is reported to have said, “This is my crowning achievement.”

Once you think it, you’re guilty of it. For stream or download.

The most recent episode of KPSU Night Shift features myself and Tunacan Jones as guests! I got to pick a number of selections, and Rikki Pants really let us have fun. Available for stream or download!
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/07/06/the-night-shift-episode-022/

If you missed yesterday’s performance by Paco Jones, here’s the entire show, available for stream or download. Paco performs all of his new EP, chats with Ricardo Wang, and a lot of fun is had. Enjoy! (Corrected Link, Even!)
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/07/06/whats-this-called-w-paco-jones-live-2/

The longest inch worm ever found was nearly 10 centimeters in length, making it both ironic and a paradox at the same time.

Oh, happy ears. For stream or download.
http://t.co/BuKtVH4gIz

Listen, rinse, repeat. For stream or download.
http://t.co/SWteYZxnAk

Ahhhhhhhh.

Don’t forget: at 12 Noon on What’s This Called? (w/ Ricardo Wang), we’re bringing you Paco Jones, live! 98.1 FM on the PSU campus, KPSU.org to stream it live. Ease into your Saturday with a little something awesome.
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/07/03/paco-jones-live-on-whats-this-called/

Help I’m a rock.

I really wish The Linear Man hadn’t destroyed The Moon. I kinda miss it every so often.

So… this just appeared in my bathroom. Any thoughts on getting rid of it? I have guests coming over.

I’m having a hard time making the conversion to metric time. 10 hour days, 100 minute hours, and only 10 months of year? I guess I’ll meet you at 9-ish?

Get it while its hot. For stream or download.
http://t.co/4KrHT5jfCd

New Closet Radio for you. Because you know you want it. For stream or download.
http://t.co/fiVAHGs7Pg

Just finished reading “Songs of the Long Land” by Lallafa during my work commute, and now I’m feeling very quietly in awe of such beautiful work.

Ugh. That second sun always comes blazing over the horizon far too early for my taste.

You know what they say: “The grass is always redder on the other side of the Galaxy.”

Tune into our newest missive, where I run down some shows that will be happening, are happening, or that we want to have happen! Plus we point you to a whole lot of stuff to listen to, and top things off with a July 4th Bob & Ray routine. For stream or download. Enjoy!
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/07/04/miniature-show-update-alert-alert-alert-3/

And and and! (And.) Don’t forget we’re also participating in No Fest this year. (Holy crap!) I’ll be participating with a number of artists, almost too many to name. You should totally come out and see the show, as there will be a rare public performance by The Black Noise Orchestra!

Our first show at The Kenton Club! A rock show of epic proportions, you should come on down and enjoy the fun! We’re podcasting live (again), and we want to see you there. Guaranteed rock-tastic, or your money back!

Save the date! We’re putting together a good old-fashioned punk show, the way old-people used to make! This one’s free, so drink up! We’ll see you then!

My favorite song is ___________ by The ___________-tones.

Wasn’t “Sparklers And Snakes” the name of one of those post-rock bands from the mid-90’s?

I’ve been slow to promote this, but this weekend I’ll be engineering my good friend Paco Jones as he performs live on What’s This Called?, hosted by Ricardo Wang. Tune in at 12 Noon to hear the results.
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/07/03/paco-jones-live-on-whats-this-called/

Ya’ll be trippin’. You should watch out for this raised section in the sidewalk. And stop taking LSD when you walk here, too.

Coming Soon?

My favorite magazine is, “The Future,” but its hard to find; the next issue is always hitting the stands tomorrow.

While advertising your services is a huge part of any business, offering something people want is another key component.

A genuine cure for hiccups is to ride a skateboard while whistling. #truth

These jumbo shrimp cocktails are far too talkative to eat for lunch.

I find the middle water-faucet knob confusing.

I’m gonna skip work today to watch the double-moonrise. Who’s with me?

When life gives you bricks, walk all over them for long periods of time.

This carpet is trying way too hard to impress me. I don’t care who used to walk on it, I’m not going to croon to make it feel better about its job.

Pffft. Dean Martin, my ass.

Our newest addition to the family: The Night Shift! Goth / Industrial / spooky music for spooky people! All the back episodes are available through us, as well enjoying their weekly podcast. Step into the gothness, and enjoy!
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/thenightshift/

I need to get rid of three pails full of sand, Gin* and zirconium emeralds, STAT. Will accept any reasonable offers.

* One Quarter Empty at this time.