Dump The Dip, And Get with Us:

Blasphuphmus Radio‘s Listener Support Thresholds
For KPSU’s 2014 Pledge Drive
(A User’s Guide)

We get it.  You’ve been with them for a really long time.  But they always forget your birthday, they don’t like grabbing a bite at a food cart before a good show, and they don’t understand why you love The Everly Brothers.  You need to face facts: you need to dump them, and get with either A Momentary Lapse of Reason, Closet Radio, or What’s This Called?  We’re all friends with KPSU.org, and we’re all part of the BlasphuphmusRadio elite cadre of friends, and they’re all raising money for the Annual Pledge Drive.

KPSU’s Pledge Drive is a yearly effort to keep their particular brand of Free-Form College Radio on the air. As with all public radio in this country, listener support is the key to keeping media like this available.  There are many cities in this country that do not have a local radio station like this, and even fewer that are truly free-form.  But radio like that costs money, and with that, we are looking for your support.

To help keep the Pledge Drive going, we have developed a series of Blasphuphmus Radio Listener Support Thresholds that allow you to support KPSU, keep programs like these on the air, and give you a number of reasons why anyone you might be with should be dumped immediately, in favor of us.

This is how our Listener Support Thresholds work: each Threshold level offers you a chance to support us at the level that you can afford.  With each successive level, you enjoy the rewards and benefits of each previous level, too.  With each Threshold that you achieve, you not only allow our program to continue, but you also allow KPSU to continue to offer programs like our own.

While we have not yet finished establishing all of the rewards listeners will gain from each successive Threshold, you can get a sampling of the kinds of things that will be available for this year’s Pledge Drive here.  Believe me, it’ll be a doozy.

In the meantime, keep this link handy, as it is where you can donate to KPSU.  Make sure to state what your are donating for, and offer complete information so we can get in touch with you.  And: thank you for your support.

Threshold 1: Audience Participation.  ($0 – $5.00)

At this level of donation, you offer any amount of money you can afford to keep A Momentary Lapse of Reason on the air.  We understand.  We like free radio too.  We like having it available all the time, whenever we want.  However, if you can afford to offer a little more than that, and want to support our program financially, then you will get a mention in our Audience Participation section of the program.  You can always make an anonymous donation, but at this Threshold Level, you become a part of the show.  It’s what we do for people who care.

Threshold 2: Staplebound & Down ($5.00 – $9.00)

The fine people at A.C.R.O.N.Y.M., Inc. & AZKaos have donated a variety of ‘zines and small publications for your entertainment.  For those who like to enjoy some of the simpler pleasures in life, there is nothing better than sitting back with a favorite radio program while enjoying a great little print ‘zine.  We can hang out together, just sharing the time, you know?  Any listeners that donate at this level will get one of their fine publications in the mail.  You’re welcome.

Threshold 3: A Trip To The Record Store.  ($10.00 – $24.00)

At this level of donation, you get to take a trip through our exclusive record store, where you get to select an album of your choosing, just for being a donor to our fine program.  Music is a mood setter, you know, and we want you to set the kind of mood you want.  We have a number of albums for you to choose from, and each of these are from artists that support our show, too.  You can choose from the following albums:

Balms – New Cassette Album
Estocar
Guyve – Delaying The Inevitable LP / CD Combo
Aural Resuscitation Unit – Digital Download
Lost In The Supermarket (A Blasphuphmus Radio Compilation, Physical or Digital)
Paco Jones – A Second Chance Again EP
Cathead – In Loving Memory of Harold (Expanded Edition Re-Issue, Physical or Digital)
The Thrash Key Kids
Brown – Lepidoptera LP
Moth Hunter – No Contact (Live Performance, Physical or Digital)
Noah Peterson
Live At Habesha Lounge (13 April 2013, Physical or Digital)

Threshold 4: Breakfast With Blasphuphmus Radio  ($25.00 – $29.00)

We know you.  You’re the kind of person that is going to come over and hang out with A Momentary Lapse of Reason.  We’ll be listening to records, reading ‘zines, and staying up well past both of our bedtimes.  When the morning comes, to avoid that awkward conversation when we first wake up, let’s instead just go to breakfast.  Broder here in Portland has been kind enough to offer some excellent Gift Certificates for people who donate at this level.  This is an excellent opportunity for us to keep the party going, both on the air, and with our budding relationship.

Threshold 5: We Want The Airwaves! (DJ For A Day) ($30.00 – $39.00)

Things are getting pretty serious between us, isn’t it?  You really do spend every Wednesday night with us, but you want to take things to the next level.  I understand.  That’s why at the ‘We Want The Airwaves!‘ Threshold Level, where you actually get to take over our program for an entire show.  You get to name it.  You get to host it.  You get to pick the segments, and what we talk about.  And your lovely co-hosts (Austin Rich & Miss Rikki) will make it all happen.  This is an opportunity for true audience participation, in person or electronically via Skype or Hangout.  For those of you who need a little something more.

Threshold 6: The Exchanging of Gifts ($40.00 – $49.00)

We  think about each other constantly.  We can’t stop sending texts, and making random phone calls in the middle of the day.  (You know: just because.)  You don’t want to rush things, but you feel the time is right to start getting little presents for each other.  One day, you show up with over $40.00 for me.  I’m so touched, I decide to give you one of these incredible Gift Sets, designed especially for you.  That’s how much I care about your incredibly thoughtful gift.  You can pick the Gift Set of your choice:

• What’s This Called? Live Music Archive (4 Disc Set) Produced by Austin Rich, this set of .mp3 Discs contains every existing live performance on What’s This Called? since 2005, and is a rare collection of complete performances by over 70 artists.
• A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. & AZKaos ‘Zine Gift Set.  We gather an assortment of ‘zines produced by A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. Inc. over the last 20 years and bundle them with some choice selections from AZKaos, as a way of saying, “Thank you,” for being such a stoic fan and friend.  (Available physically and digitally.)
• Blasphuphmus Radio CD Gift Set.   We bundle any four CDs from Threshold #3 as a way of giving you even more music to enjoy, and hopefully to stoke the fires of our relationship.
• The Thrash Key Kids “Mixology” Gift Set.  Joe Peg of The Thrash Key Kids has hand made these “Mixology” Gift Sets of TKK odds and ends.  Because nothing says long-term like smelly, offensive punk rock.

• 

  RLLRBLL Gift Set.  A vinyl LP and t-shirt for one of the greatest bands in the Portland Area, donated by Mae herself.  This one will go fast, to Pledge soon.

Threshold 8: Damn, You Look Good! ($50.00 to $74.00)

Wow.  I mean, really, you look good.  Not that you didn’t already; you always look good, because you listen to our program.  But you look really good, like, ‘Let’s skip dinner, keep the lit candles, but put on some records so we can sit in the corner and “talk”,’ good, too.  Clearly, you used that Gift Certificate for Tara j Merritt at A.H.S. for a haircut & deep conditioning treatment. Tara always makes me look much hotter when I leave, and she hooked me up with all sorts of hair care stuff that now clutters up a good portion of my bathroom.  At this level of support, you would get the full treatment from Atomic Hair Studio for our big date.  You like art, right?  I hope so, because…

Threshold 9: Auction For Art’s Sake ($75.00 to $99.00)

The usual kicks just don’t do it for you anymore.  We’ve been together for a while now, but you want more.  Like a big date, a night on the town to have a little excitement now and then.  You want to go to an art auction, and you are in luck.  For fans who donate at this Threshold Level, you will be entered into a drawing to win one of the four unique pieces of art that have been donated to our program for the Pledge Drive.  Four lucky people will go on a date with A Momentary Lapse of Reason, and be able to participate in a live, on-air drawing for a chance to win pieces by the following artists:

• Travis Wade, who has donated two small paintings like the kind she sells via his Esty Store.  (x2)
• William Ethan August Meyer, who has donated two of his sculptures.  (x2)

While we will both have to buy our own drinks, this date will be an on-air extravaganza, where you get to win some real art, like at an auction.  Because I know that you’re class as fuck.

Threshold 10: Let’s Do It.  Let’s Fall In Love.  ($100.00 or more.)

It has come to this.  We’ve become quite serious, and it is time to let the world know how we feel about each other.  For people who decide to enter into this Threshold of support, then it’s time to throw a party to celebrate our relationship.  Together, we’ll work with a local venue, to put on a fundraising party, to celebrate what we’ve become.  We’ll develop the show together.  We’ll pick bands and DJs.  We’ll work with KPSU to make this event come together.  And together, we’ll get to host this amazing event together.  Because the world needs to know about our love.

Sustaining A Threshold.  

If you are the kind of supporter that wants to establish a Sustained Threshold – making the same donation year after year – then we have a deal that will not only continue to help KPSU bring you programs like ours, but will allow you to get more for your money, NOW.  If you choose to establish a Sustained Threshold with our program (promising to continue to make the same donation every year), then you will not only receive all the benefits of the Threshold you sustain at, but also the Threshold above, too.  It’s another way of rewarding dedicated fans and donors, and we want to make sure you get everything you deserve for being such a supportive fan.

Together, We Can Do This.

We’re both tired of being in relationships where we’re not getting the support we thing we deserve.  And there’s no reason to stay with the people who used to treat us so poorly.  By donating to KPSU for the 2014 Pledge Drive, you can enter into a supportive relationship where we’ll both get what we need from each other without all the lying and manipulation we’re both used to.  Together, we can be happy.  Together, we can do it.

24/7.  on KPSU.org.