“Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it’s the first time I’ve been warm!”

This just showed up on my drive. Enjoy!

We’re recording live again at Slims! Our line-up is TBA at the moment, but we’ll be pulling out all the usual stops: live music, DJed in-betweeners, and myself hosting everything for the evening. This one will be great, so save the date!

There are some things you should never see.

Leonard Part II is not one of them.

Woah. We spent so much money on boxes of temporal cartridge interface receptors that, objectively, I need to ask, “What day is it?”

The coasts of Beta Arland III aren’t bad in the Summer.

I’m so happy we can finally consume podcasts in pill form.

But WTF? is still a little hard to get down.

I miss the days when The Thing’s catch phrase was, “It’s Drinkin’ Time!” But the story lines were dark.

So. Very. Dark.

This ‘zine about Furbie-hacking is pretty rad. You should pick up “Fur-Ture So Bright.” Issue three is about getting them to swear!

These digital toes keep glitching; I can’t seem to calculate anything in base 10 anymore, and every fifth step goes wild. Help!

Centaurs make excellent audiobook readers. You can hardly tell its not a human on those Hunger Games ones.

Now available for free in iTunes: Closet Radio! The newest show to be added to our roster is entirely free if you search “Closet Radio” in iTunes. One of the best shows for your spiritual musical growth is now ready for the masses. Enjoy!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/closet-radio/id666137437

Did you know that vegans have upside-down genitals? And they can only drive cars on weekends? (The more you know!)

I know a large number of people seem to support it almost unquestioningly, but I really don’t think Teflon sidewalks are a good idea.

In 1895, the first teenager rolled his eyes when his parents didn’t understand why he wanted a wax cylinder player.

What kind of two-particle-accelerator town is this?

The Michigander Civil war between the Yoopers and The Water Wonderland was funny at first, but once actual wolverines started to get used on the frontlines, the devastation to Lansing can never be undone. Please donate to the Gander Reunion Effort to help rebuild this recently-devastated region.

You gotta fart for your right to potty.

Operator? Hello? I’d like to place a call to Opar City, immediately. Let’s just say that lives are at stake, and the future of humankind hangs in the balance.

I know he’s the number one selling artist of all time, but I STILL haven’t seen Zander Schloss live. Can someone spot me a ticket for one of those Mega-Coliseum shows?

“I never saw myself as a robotics engineer. I wanted to be an actor like Douglas Fairbanks and create Sci-Fi movies and do cartoon voices and travel by motorcycle, making new friends along the way.” – Mark Hamill, Popular Science, August 19th 2023

I need a new sleep pod. The circuits on the one make it almost impossible to enter an adequate stasis level.

Dammit Atomic Boy! Where’s my Rocket Fuel? How are we to get to Beta Arland III in time to save them from the Venutian Invasion?

If it’s not one thing, it’s another…

We are proud to announce that Closet Radio is now a part of our Podcast family! For the first time ever, you can get every new episode of Miss Rikki’s program via our humble site. Just paste http://feeds.feedburner.com/ClosetRadioFeed into your aggregator of choice, and enjoy!

This is only just the beginning…
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/closetradio/

If this talking cat doesn’t shut up about the economic impact of boosters being added to flying cars, it is going to quickly find out what life is like with an empty food dish. No one cares, talking cat!

The Facebook Fiction Inititive: Taking back social media from The Horrible Truth. You can make a difference, if you start lying today. Available for stream or download.
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/06/21/the-facebook-fiction-initiative/

Yum! These chips are delicious!

The Facebook Fiction Inititive: Taking back social media from The Horrible Truth. You can make a difference, if you start lying today. Available for stream or download.
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/06/21/the-facebook-fiction-initiative/

My cyber-implant is telling me I need to defragment my brain. I’ll be offline for a while. Stay tuned.

Not bad for a Matisse.

I know everyone can’t stop talking about it, but Fracking Bad is just too intense for me to watch.

Troll Dolls would be so much funnier if they weren’t a really shitty band.

And if roving packs of trolls weren’t a genuine threat.

Tone Lōc’s third album was great, but his 2003 release, “Lōc Side Of The Tune” still blows my mind.

Notice: Magic Users are gathering at Pioneer Square for undisclosed reasons. Familiars are marching through surrounding side streets. Traffic is practically floating in mid-air. Use alternate routes.

This Ice-Fishing getup sure is drawing a lot of looks here at the office.

Totally.

The Reality TV Wars of 20 years ago were so violent and disturbing, I still can’t look at a screen without yelling incoherently about capitalism and man’s inhumanity toward everything.

I really hope the Nantucket Dire Wolves beat the Princeton Paladins in the Olympic Chess Tournament today.

This road to nowhere looks far too much like The Road To Omaha.

Help! I accidentally teleported somewhere, and I appear to be in a cube that looks like this in every direction. How do I get out?!

I was offered a job killing wild gnomes at the airport, so they don’t interfere with take-offs and landings. I’m tempted; we’re allowed to keep any treasure they might be carrying.

The moon looks like a wadded piece of bandage sitting at the bottom of a pool of water.

In some parts of the Midwest, homeless people are building entire structures out of discarded CD Folders and Jewel Cases. They’re surprisingly weather resistant, but in every case, the Maroon 5 wing is where you’ll find the bathroom.

I wrestled with technology, and lost. I guess it’s time to wrestle with some whiskey… and loose.

I left the house today wearing nothing but The Inter-Web-A-Tron. Strangely, no one noticed.

Can you get an infection from getting your finger caught in an atomic zipper? I’m asking for a friend.

Mayonnaise.

There’s a man riding a giraffe in the rhinoceros lane.

Some people.

I feel like they jumped the squid in the seventh season of Firefly. Making Kaylee turn up on The Island to fight zombies with Sawyer was just too ridiculous.

Just picked up Mad Men 2020 from the game shop today. Can’t wait to play Paul Kinsey with the vision upgrades and a cybernetic arm!

Our Father’s Day Special is here! Mixing two episodes of Orson Welle’s Radio almanac from June of 1944, with readings from “The Moon Maid” by Edgar Rice Burroughs, and a few other seasonally-appropriate tunes, we bring you the first installment of our radio almanac! Available for Stream or Download.
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/06/16/blasphuphmus-radio-almanac-fathers-day-special/

Happy Second Cousin’s Day everyone!

I miss the days when you could still find piñata trees in this area. That’s progress for ya.

Man of Steel wasn’t bad for a movie about a robot who wants to become a real boy. Casting Harry Dean Stanton in the lead was an interesting choice, though.

It looks like I’ve still got most of my 7 Cent Coins from when I was in High School. I thought I lost those ages ago.

Did Tunacan Jones stop complaining about his cold yet? I’m wondering if he’s back to his power pop references, so I can start reading his posts again.

My Hero.

So how long should the exposure be if you’re hoping to gain superpowers from Cosmic Rays? I’ve got plans later this evening.

I never realized how much I appreciated the Green Sun until it stopped shining the other day. Sigh.

Sargasso Planet reruns and too much ice cream. What a night.

The Game of Thrones / Xena: Warrior Princess crossover episode was better than I thought it would be.

I need to lay off these Drone-E-Os. Their slogan – We’ll bomb your stomach with nutrition! – is far too accurate.

Coming this Sunday: Our Father’s Day Special! We’ve never done a Father’s Day show, and it’s about time we got around to it. Songs about Fathers, clips from Orson Welles’ “Radio Almanac” from June of 1944, and a little ERB for good measure. Tune in this Sunday for an hour-long blast of radio awesomeness. Suitable for all members of the family, even!

It was recently discovered that red bricks occur naturally in nature. Similar to the way diamonds are formed, the atomic structure of red bricks bonds in a “cubic” form. They are primarily grown in elaborate mines south of the equator, as the conditions in North America, Europe and Asia are not conducive to the brick form. #TheMoreYouKnow

Born To Link Videos, And My Girlfriend’s Really Bummed Out.

Streaming video has made the DVD an endangered species. Consequently, laws have been passed to prevent these discs from being damaged or destroyed. It’s more than the government ever did for my precious betamax tapes.

“In every picture I take, the kitten is implied.”

W1F1Passw0rd, m4ltb4rs, f4rtdogz, m0th3rb0x, b00bfarm, skiel4rk, p00ntan9, 3v1ld34d, iamontheinterW3bs, p0rntube, overr1de, iwillneverrememb3R

Wink Martindale for the block, John.

I take back everything I’ve ever said about Mama’s Family.

Facial Tissues. Modeling Clay. Hair Pie. Vanilla Scented Candles. Lost DVD Boxed Set. Japanese Citrus Drinks. Cheese Rinds.

This church has a surprising number of Mary Higgins Clark novels in the foyer.

As a favor to me: please, everyone, post something that is believably not-true on my wall. I would like FB to become a work of fiction, so I have more incentive to read it. I AM ENTIRELY SERIOUS.

Mine starts right now.

People. Just, chill out. Really. Lives do not hang in the balance. Just money.

“You know what the fellow said – in New York, for years under Lou Reed, they had The Dictators, Television, Patti Smith and Blondie, but they produced Punk Rock, Post-Punk and New Wave. In LA, they had The Whiskey, they had years of bland AM Radio rock – and what did that produce? The Germs.”

– Harry Lime

Reading FB is like watching a Twilight Zone episode: everything is creepy and horrible, and people are screaming in terror.

Except there’s no Rod Serling, and it’s all real.

Once again, I had an hour of my time wasted by a group of people arguing over who was going to do their job this week, and who was going to whine uncontrollably.

When will people learn: Meetings have never accomplished anything. Ever.

“Wanna grow up to be a debaser.”

Singing:

“Quit your job!
Dump the slob!
Life is too short for this shit.
Quit your job!
Steal and rob!
Misery is easy to fix.”

My next movie will be about the ambitious plans of a filmmaker who tells the world about his self contained ideas via social media, precluding the need to complete the film. It will be my most talked about project on Twitter!

Michael Westin’s coiffure in season five is entirely deplorable! Only a great fool would consider a hairdresser of this kind of INEPTITUDE to work on a lead of this visual narrative. Zounds!

Finally available for your listening enjoyment: Sweat Lodge & No Bone, LIVE on Closet Radio! This link contains the entire two hour show, links to the video clips, photosets, a setlist, and more! This is the perfect show for a Sunday Afternoon, available for stream or download. Enjoy!
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/05/18/closet-radio-with-sweat-lodge-no-bone-live/

Continuing our History Lesson from 1982, here is: We Destroy The Family Part II: Punks vs. Parents! Listen as we hear actual testimony from a family torn apart by punk rock… and selections from the music that caused it! Circle Jerks, Fear, The Ramones, Theoretical Girls, The Kids, and more! Available for Stream or Download. Enjoy!
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/06/09/we-destroy-the-family-part-ii/

Bringing you a concentrated blast of punk rock, No Bone also performed live on Closet Radio on the 18th of May, destroying all who were present to enjoy this show. All that is left is this tight, five-minute video for you to see the results. Enjoy!

Need a Sunday Pick-Me-Up? Why not check out this killer performance by Sweat Lodge, Live on Closet Radio on 18 May 2013. Myself, Tunacan Jones & Miss Rikki pulled out all the stops and bring you lo-fi rock for the soul. Enjoy!

Gaytheist, Live, Part Two! From their live performance on 18 May 2013, when Jonathon Boober & I hosted them at KPSU. Bask in the erotic glow that is three dudes rockin’ as hard as they can in smelly basement. Enjoy!

You can now download the individual performances from the Habesha Lounge show on 13 April 2013, for free! Stream the tracks, or put them on your portable device of choice. And, if you’d like to make a donation, even better! More fun to come. Enjoy!
http://blasphuphmusradio.bandcamp.com/album/live-at-habesha-lounge-13-april-2013

From the Blasphuphmus Radio archives: Gaytheist, Live! This is part one of their performance from 18 May 2013, when Jonathon Boober & I hosted them at KPSU. Now you can relive the beauty and the glory from the comfort of your computer, all while using only one hand. Enjoy!

Okay, for reals: two units just opened up in our apartment unit. In St. John’s. One is a single bedroom, the other, we are not sure. We had a real dick who moved out, and we really want new tenants who are not dicks. Are you interested?

I hate it when someone comes into my office and is angry about something I have no control over and cannot change.

PHDs are the worst.

Here’s another audio / video treat for you, from 13 April 2013: The Habesha Lounge Show! All the audio and video has finally been edited, and contains performances by Death Pact Jazz Ensemble, The Holy Filament, Overdose The Katatonic, Abusive Consumer & The Dead Air Fresheners w/ myself providing vocals. Available for stream or download. This one is killer. Enjoy!
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/06/02/the-book-of-karen-and-other-pleasant-sounds/

Here’s another audio / video treat for you, from 13 April 2013: The Habesha Lounge Show! All the audio and video has finally been edited, and contains performances by Death Pact Jazz Ensemble, The Holy Filament, Overdose The Katatonic, Abusive Consumer & The Dead Air Fresheners w/ myself providing vocals. Available for stream or download. This one is killer. Enjoy!
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/06/02/the-book-of-karen-and-other-pleasant-sounds/

Here’s another audio / video treat for you, from 13 April 2013: The Habesha Lounge Show! All the audio and video has finally been edited, and contains performances by Death Pact Jazz Ensemble, The Holy Filament, Overdose The Katatonic, Abusive Consumer & The Dead Air Fresheners w/ myself providing vocals. Available for stream or download. This one is killer. Enjoy!
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/06/02/the-book-of-karen-and-other-pleasant-sounds/

“We drove up to the place on Carrie Creek and pitched the tent and took our goods out of the car and piled them in the tent. Then we drove up the creek a ways, above the place where there were beaver darns and the trout stared back at us like fallen leaves.” Available for stream or download.
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/06/01/the-message-by-richard-brautigan/

“We drove up to the place on Carrie Creek and pitched the tent and took our goods out of the car and piled them in the tent. Then we drove up the creek a ways, above the place where there were beaver darns and the trout stared back at us like fallen leaves.” Available for stream or download.
http://blasphuphmusradio.com/2013/06/01/the-message-by-richard-brautigan/